I don’t know when I first heard the expression, “Living well is the best revenge.” It made sense to me. It still does—depending on what you mean by “living well.”
After my divorce, I decided that to mitigate the pain of having my marriage end and to deal with my sorrow at having to face my future years alone, I would go about creating for myself what I chose to call an Enviable Life.
I did a good job of this.
In true girly-girl fashion, I decorated and furnished my Virginia mountain cottage in French country style with white washed armoires and cupboards, blue and white pieced quilts, and a variety of Laura Ashley chintzes in yellows and blues. A large wooden glass front display case has become the Kay Ballard Shoe and Purse Museum and the home to my highly stylized Prada sandals, purchased in Montevarchi, Italy, and too dear to wear, and my Nola Kiely handbag, purchased in London.
Craving comfort, my closet proved it by providing a nightly resting place for forty-plus pairs of Birkenstocks. Since I had made a deliberate decision to ignore fashion in my choice of footwear, I attempted to compensate by specializing in Birkenstock variety—snakeskin, gold metallic, Aboriginal art, Rhinestone buckles.
Black coats. You simply can’t have too many, right? I pushed that proposition to its Rock Star extreme by purchasing black coats in cashmere, leather, and suede. In wool of every texture. And micro fiber of every description. Dozens of black coats in every possible length and every imaginable style.
Jewelry—I can’t bear to discuss it.
I bought myself a black Jeep Wrangler so that in addition to looking cute driving around in it, wearing the Birks and the coats and the jewelry, I could be rugged. I customized my Jeep by removing its back seat and installing fuzzy dice on the rear view mirror. A final touch was the sheath of shearling lambskin on the seat belt to protect my tender sensitive skin. My Jeep eats dust, or at least wears it well. Off road? Yes! I actually went off road and rolled it.
I remodeled my guest cottage and filled it with original art and art books and installed the FAMOUS sink—also an art piece.
Recreational travel? Of course. As a seeker of an enviable life, it was practically my duty.
Then, I purchased a golf course condo where the weather was warm for winter living. Since I was furnishing it from scratch, unless it was vintage, everything I bought for the condo was brand new and perfectly matched. I sourced and acquired an extensive Art Glass handbag collection. I furnished the living room in with mid century modern pieces. I created a bedroom I would describe as Cowgirl Deco and brought it to life in shades of turquoise and tan.
Perhaps the most important element of the enviable life was how I spent my time. With no shame I permitted myself to spend my time entirely as I liked. Strangely enough, that resulted in much chair sitting. One day on television I heard some sage describe himself as springing from the Academic Milieu. Immediately, I realized with some distress that I could fairly describe myself as having sprung from the Chair Sitting Milieu.
This is because, as it happens, my very own highly esteemed father is an expert at chair sitting. He spends many hours in his huge private office sitting in his comfortable leather recliner, drinking freshly brewed coffee, watching news and public affairs programs on cable TV. But he is entitled to do this. He is 84 and RETIRED after an active and productive career and a lifetime of achievement. No one would fairly or accurately describe him as a slug. Nonetheless, I had to admit that "slug" was the perfect description of me.
The Enviable Life? Or the life of a Slug with a Lot of Stuff.
The Enviable Life Versus The Flourishing Life.
One is about stuff and lifestyle and obtaining what our culture envies, hence the name. The other is about the pursuit of things that matter like intellectual engagement, positive social interaction and political and philanthropic involvement.
©2008 Kay Ballard
